One year
I was going to write this post in October, but you know how that goes...
Here is my most honest blog post yet.
On October 27, 2016 my life changed forever.
My husband, the person I vowed to spend the rest of my life with, told me he needed help or he was going to die. Life changer. My husband hadn't been himself in a while, he was lazy and tired, he did absolutely nothing for our family. He was sick, and it was a sickness I had never seen before.
On October 26, 2016 I had decided to divorce my husband. I didn't tell anyone, I just knew I had to get Conor and I out of this crazy, toxic world I was living in. I knew something wasn't okay with Alec, but I didn't want to admit it to myself. I just wanted out, but God knew I should stay.
My husband is an addict.
My husband, the father of my child, became a monster. A monster who I hated, and couldn't believe I married. He tricked me. For someone who has no knowledge of the drug world, I had no clue what double life he was living.
I prayed every night for God to reveal the truth to me.
And he did.
On October 28, 2016
My husband entered detox. It was the scariest, most emotional moment of my life. It was also the first time in a year that I actually felt love for him.
For thirty days I was a single mother while my husband got help. Looking back, that whole month was a blur. I had a routine every day... cry, go to work and act like everything was okay, cry, pick up Conor, cry, go to bed.
For the past year, I have felt every emotion someone can feel. I have felt angry,sad,scared, happy, loved, worried, relieved...everything.
Thank God for Conor.
As bad as October of 2016 was, it could have been a lot worse. My husband shouldn't be here. He (with the help of family) took the steps to get healthy. I have been slowly taking steps to forgive and accept that my husband has an illness. For sickness and in health, right?
On October 28, 2017
My husband celebrated one year of sobriety. He is completely different. Are there hard times? Yes. We are still learning how to be married and how to communicate. But, we are trying. For the first time in years, I know God has a plan for us. I know why I married my husband. His life has changed so much. He is the father and husband I have always wanted him to be. He provides, he loves, and most of all he is happy. God answered my prayer. It wasn't how I expected Him to answer, but this process has been a beautiful experience. It does get better, if the person is willing to get the help. Our lives have changed for the better because of this. I know that the chance of relapse is high, but I know how strong Alec is. He took a step that most can't. He admitted his struggle, and that is the manliest thing he could have ever done.
We have changed our lives now. We don't drink, we don't even really go out. It was a mutual decision that was best for our family.
Alec, I couldn't be more proud to be your wife. I love you.
I hope this entry helps someone who is going through a hard time, or dealing with addiction.
I am very lucky to have my husband alive today, but I am even more lucky to have the support we did during this time. If you are reading this and you are a family member or friend, thank you. From the bottom of my heart. It is the support we have that keeps Alec fighting every day.
Addiction is a disease, a deadly disease. Fight for the ones you love.
Lo
Here is my most honest blog post yet.
On October 27, 2016 my life changed forever.
My husband, the person I vowed to spend the rest of my life with, told me he needed help or he was going to die. Life changer. My husband hadn't been himself in a while, he was lazy and tired, he did absolutely nothing for our family. He was sick, and it was a sickness I had never seen before.
On October 26, 2016 I had decided to divorce my husband. I didn't tell anyone, I just knew I had to get Conor and I out of this crazy, toxic world I was living in. I knew something wasn't okay with Alec, but I didn't want to admit it to myself. I just wanted out, but God knew I should stay.
My husband is an addict.
My husband, the father of my child, became a monster. A monster who I hated, and couldn't believe I married. He tricked me. For someone who has no knowledge of the drug world, I had no clue what double life he was living.
I prayed every night for God to reveal the truth to me.
And he did.
On October 28, 2016
My husband entered detox. It was the scariest, most emotional moment of my life. It was also the first time in a year that I actually felt love for him.
For thirty days I was a single mother while my husband got help. Looking back, that whole month was a blur. I had a routine every day... cry, go to work and act like everything was okay, cry, pick up Conor, cry, go to bed.
For the past year, I have felt every emotion someone can feel. I have felt angry,sad,scared, happy, loved, worried, relieved...everything.
Thank God for Conor.
As bad as October of 2016 was, it could have been a lot worse. My husband shouldn't be here. He (with the help of family) took the steps to get healthy. I have been slowly taking steps to forgive and accept that my husband has an illness. For sickness and in health, right?
On October 28, 2017
My husband celebrated one year of sobriety. He is completely different. Are there hard times? Yes. We are still learning how to be married and how to communicate. But, we are trying. For the first time in years, I know God has a plan for us. I know why I married my husband. His life has changed so much. He is the father and husband I have always wanted him to be. He provides, he loves, and most of all he is happy. God answered my prayer. It wasn't how I expected Him to answer, but this process has been a beautiful experience. It does get better, if the person is willing to get the help. Our lives have changed for the better because of this. I know that the chance of relapse is high, but I know how strong Alec is. He took a step that most can't. He admitted his struggle, and that is the manliest thing he could have ever done.
We have changed our lives now. We don't drink, we don't even really go out. It was a mutual decision that was best for our family.
Alec, I couldn't be more proud to be your wife. I love you.
I hope this entry helps someone who is going through a hard time, or dealing with addiction.
I am very lucky to have my husband alive today, but I am even more lucky to have the support we did during this time. If you are reading this and you are a family member or friend, thank you. From the bottom of my heart. It is the support we have that keeps Alec fighting every day.
Addiction is a disease, a deadly disease. Fight for the ones you love.
Lo
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