Boundaries Part 2
Boundaries with family....get ready for everyone to hate you, Lauren.
This is a tough topic to discuss because family members tell me that they actually read this...awkward.
To be honest, I never thought I would ever have to worry about boundaries with family members. My family is pretty good at giving each other space. We call before we come over, we don't call all of the time. I actually enjoy calling my mom, she lets me vent and I feel like she listens to me. She doesn't give me advice the entire conversation and she has allowed me to learn how to become a mother without trying to control the outcome.
My mom and I, without even knowing it, have boundaries. I know to call her at least a couple times a week to check in and she knows to let me grow as an adult. I also know what topics are appropriate to talk to my mom about, and what topics should be saved for girlfriends. #boundaries
I never knew that this was a hard concept for people.
Without family we are nothing. During good times and bad, we lean on our family members. But what about the times in between? When do you stop the overbearing family member from giving you another piece of advice about raising a child? When do you realize that you are giving too much advice to someone who really isn't even listening to you?
Let it go... Let it go...
It is time to set boundaries, and also to make compromises.
For some family members, it is impossible to escape the comments and the suggestions. Sometimes you even see the Judge Judy eye roll when you are "incorrectly" disciplining your child... yeah I saw that! But what do we do to not go crazy?
We drink.
Kidding.
We breathe, and realize that this isn't the end of the world. If you see you are being judged for your parenting, continue to parent YOUR way. Eventually, family members will realize that you will not let the comments and eye rolls sway your parenting style. If you cave, realize they have won... and welcome to weekly dinners with Judge Judy.
I have heard about people separating themselves from family, and I never understood it. I honestly thought that the person isolating themselves had issues.
But now I get it.
A few things I have learned from gaining family members from marriage...
1. You can't win em' all... seriously, not everyone will like you. No matter how hard you try, there will always be a family member that you can't win with.
2. Be respectful, but set your boundaries. If a family member is not respecting you as a parent, then that person probably needs limited time with your child. You are the parent. Let that be known.
3. Gaining family members from marriage, is not the same as your blood relatives. Remember that these people may have been raised completely different from you. Watch your jokes..... I tell you that from personal experience.
4. Setting boundaries doesn't mean you have to be rude.
5. Just because you were raised a certain way does not mean you are right.
I will just say your welcome... read this before the holidays. You will need it.
Don't forget to breathe.
Lo
This is a tough topic to discuss because family members tell me that they actually read this...awkward.
(These photos have nothing to do with this blog...but how cute is Conor in his little karate outfit)
(Oh yeah.. he got in a bar fight last weekend...the bar won) :)
To be honest, I never thought I would ever have to worry about boundaries with family members. My family is pretty good at giving each other space. We call before we come over, we don't call all of the time. I actually enjoy calling my mom, she lets me vent and I feel like she listens to me. She doesn't give me advice the entire conversation and she has allowed me to learn how to become a mother without trying to control the outcome.
My mom and I, without even knowing it, have boundaries. I know to call her at least a couple times a week to check in and she knows to let me grow as an adult. I also know what topics are appropriate to talk to my mom about, and what topics should be saved for girlfriends. #boundaries
I never knew that this was a hard concept for people.
Without family we are nothing. During good times and bad, we lean on our family members. But what about the times in between? When do you stop the overbearing family member from giving you another piece of advice about raising a child? When do you realize that you are giving too much advice to someone who really isn't even listening to you?
Let it go... Let it go...
It is time to set boundaries, and also to make compromises.
For some family members, it is impossible to escape the comments and the suggestions. Sometimes you even see the Judge Judy eye roll when you are "incorrectly" disciplining your child... yeah I saw that! But what do we do to not go crazy?
We drink.
Kidding.
We breathe, and realize that this isn't the end of the world. If you see you are being judged for your parenting, continue to parent YOUR way. Eventually, family members will realize that you will not let the comments and eye rolls sway your parenting style. If you cave, realize they have won... and welcome to weekly dinners with Judge Judy.
I have heard about people separating themselves from family, and I never understood it. I honestly thought that the person isolating themselves had issues.
(Just testing out the new camera....keep reading)
But now I get it.
A few things I have learned from gaining family members from marriage...
1. You can't win em' all... seriously, not everyone will like you. No matter how hard you try, there will always be a family member that you can't win with.
2. Be respectful, but set your boundaries. If a family member is not respecting you as a parent, then that person probably needs limited time with your child. You are the parent. Let that be known.
3. Gaining family members from marriage, is not the same as your blood relatives. Remember that these people may have been raised completely different from you. Watch your jokes..... I tell you that from personal experience.
4. Setting boundaries doesn't mean you have to be rude.
5. Just because you were raised a certain way does not mean you are right.
I will just say your welcome... read this before the holidays. You will need it.
Don't forget to breathe.
Lo
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